The Things They Carried

“It's now 1990. I'm forty-three years old, which would've seemed impossible to a fourth grader, and yet when I look at photographs of myself as I was in 1956, I realize that in the important ways I haven't changed at all. I was Timmy then; now I'm Tim. But the essence remains the same. I'm not fooled by the baggy pants or the crew cut or the happy smile—I know my own eyes—and there is no doubt that the Timmy smiling at the camera is the Tim I am now. Inside the body, or beyond the body, there is something absolute and unchanging. The human life is all one thing, like a blade tracing loops on ice: a little kid, a twenty-three-year-old infantry sergeant, a middle-aged writer knowing guilt and sorrow” (236).

Today, I could look in the mirror and accumulate a number of things that have changed about me over the years. Until almost sixth grade, I was an incredible tomboy. At recess I preferred football or soccer with the boys rather than jump rope or tag with the girls. I cringed at the sight of lace or ruffles and winced when my mother picked flowing pink dresses off the racks in stores. This changed with maturity. As I grew more comfortable with myself, I slowly integrated the once despised color pink into my wardrobe. I later found the competitive atmosphere I craved in jump rope and tag. This seemingly insignificant wardrobe and attitude change did not really change me as a person, though. I was simply growing out of a phase and tapping into the more open-minded side of myself.

However, there are many things that have remained constant. The competitive spirit that tirelessly drove me to play with the boys at recess in elementary school is still strongly present within me today. Granted, many times I will contain myself, but I still thrive in competitive situations. I am also still very loyal, persistent, and open-minded. Of course, there are circumstances in which these attributes have lost their prominence but they were nevertheless, still existent. Although I have named only a few of the consistencies within myself, the fact that I found them is the basis of my agreement with Tim O’Brien’s quote. Time and age can change the way in which we display our characteristics but they do not change who we are as a person or the values we have within.

“I was Timmy then; now I’m Tim. But the essence remains the same”. Although experiences throughout Tim’s life have transformed the way he lives his day-to-day life, most of the characteristics and values he once had as a child remain the same. I can look back and remember being tomboyish. Even though I may not describe myself in that way today, the “essence” remains the same. I still crave competitive situations as I once did. This has remained a constant. I will not forget that classic phase I went through but I will always remember what I learned from it. Memories regarding even the smallest personal transformations never fade.
What someone learns from experience and mistakes are what shape them as a person in the future. I think our lives could be compared to a “blade tracing loops on ice” because a loop could easily represent the periodic “ups and downs” that everyone goes through in life. We constantly make mistakes that help guide us through the “ups” in life. These mistakes and experiences can help one to further define themselves as an individual by broadening their knowledge and understanding of themselves.

I may not be the tomboy I once was but I am still the same person inside. What I have learned from mistakes and experiences have helped me grow as a person and have helped me expand my understanding of myself. As I continue to be the blade tracing loops on ice, I will carry with me the knowledge I have gained as well as the values that have remained instilled in me. Time and age may have changed the way in which I display certain characteristics but neither will change who I am as a person deep inside.